What Contracting Swine Flu Can do…

Swine Flu seems to be everywhere at the moment and it looks like it’s not going away any time soon. So what do you have to look out for if you get Swine Flu? Read on!…

To your newborn child

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What’s the usual response to a newborn child? “Aww he’s adorable” or “What a cute baby” or “Look, he’s got your nose” Well you really hope he doesn’t have your nose if your child looks like the bad case above. Like all good parents though, you best love… it.

To your favourite cartoon characters

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Cartoon characters. Your childhood friends. You grew up with them. You cuddled up to your very own bugs bunny at night after your mum tucked you in… but suusshhhh…. be verwy verwy qwiet… were huntin Porkie Pig now.

To that guy in the woods

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That’s right, the crazy guy in the woods who seems cut off from civilisation apart from going to the edge of the wood to shout at rocks can even get Swine Flu. No one really knows how he got it… and no one wants to know.

To your wife

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Your wife… the woman who you took your vows to have and to hold, through sickness and health… yeah ok “sickness” but there is a limit. She will forgive you for screaming and jumping out the (ground floor) window.

To your car

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A positive side effect of your car contacting swine flu is that it gets really good off road… especially in mud (caution… it may roll over)

To you!

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All your life you took care of yourself… you ate well… you exercised regularly and made sure you looked the best you could be. It was all going so well until you had to take that business trip to Mexico on Mexicana Airlines where you sat between a Mexican and his donkey. You’ll need more than cosmetic surgery to solve your pig flu face problem.

(the really bad cases)

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This guy used to own a pig farm. Now the pigs own him.

To your nose

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This woman tried to cover up the pig transformation by inserting a couple of poker chips into her now oversized nostrils hoping no one would notice. Sorry dear but we did… and also the fact you have a chunk missing out of your right ear. Ew.